


Gone in Bloom and Bough

by sxetia



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Combat, F/M, Gen, Kinda, Light Canon Divergence, Nostalgia, Other, Reminiscing, canon character death, implied major character death, light headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 00:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20939216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxetia/pseuds/sxetia
Summary: Memories of you.





	Gone in Bloom and Bough

**Author's Note:**

> titled after, as well as thematically inspired by the musical and lyrical content of, the piece of the same name by the band Caspian.

Gone in Bloom and Bough

Do you remember when you were incapacitated by the typhoon, the day of your school’s festival? You were violently ill. I thought that you may never wake up. 

I remember many things.

* * *

Do you remember the first time that I saw you, underneath the canopy of trees near the shore? I threw my arms around you and held you closely to me, swearing to myself that I would never let you go. I made you uncomfortable in doing so. You asked me for personal space. 

I thought that meant that you would never let me hold you again, but you did. 

I remember my first day of school. All of the other students immediately noticed that I was different. It was obvious — my manner of speech, the way I moved, how I failed to understand most of the simple facets of a high school student’s life. The hue of my skin, hair, and eyes, and the distinctive robotic appointments to my head and hands. They all looked at me so strangely, asked so many questions, and treated me as if I were an outcast from the moment I arrived. 

They carried no fondness, familiarity or welcome in their eyes, but you did. 

Do you recall the first time that I told you how special you were to me? I don’t believe that you had ever heard that before. That strong look upon your face suddenly vanished, and for the first time you did not seem as if you were withholding what you thought. You told me that you did not understand why you would be special. You looked so frightened, so vulnerable. 

It made me want to protect you. 

A memory that I lament with horror is a particular night in Tartarus, some time after we had vanquished the final Arcana Shadow. We had made contact with a monstrous Shadow whom threatened to incapacitate all of our squad, leaving us helpless — until you stood and revealed your Evoker. 

Your entire body shook with exertion as you placed the barrel to your head and pulled the trigger, rending yourself into symbolic suicide as your Persona released itself from your psyche. Orpheus’ familiar visage appeared from behind you, only to assume a distressed expression — its body moved awkwardly until a gloved hand burst out from within its chest, ripping Orpheus to pieces as its owner made itself known. 

In an instant, I knew that I was before the visage of Death. It impaled the Shadow on its blade and gored it with its clawing hands until nothing remained, vengefully and angrily lashing out at the world around it. It was so brutal, so vicious — a stark contrast from Orpheus’ stoic, graceful harmony. How could Death reside within someone so frail, so peaceful?

Your face was twisted into an expression of anger, of hatred. I had never seen so much as irritation on your face before. It frightened me.

I remember the night that you made your decision. I observed an uncertainty and nervousness in your eye as you emerged with Ryoji at your side, but I said nothing of it. Later, in the dead of the night, you sought out my company. That uncertainty had spread to your entire face, allowing me to witness a side of you which you showed to nobody else. You said that you were beginning to regret your decision, that you were not sure that you made the right choice for everyone. 

You told me that you were scared. You let me hold you closely, and you wrapped your arms back around me. We stayed there until your trembling stopped and until the sun rose in the sky, vacating it of the darkness of night.

One of my most favorite memories is the day after, when we spent New Years’ Day with our friends. I had spent the previous nights restlessly agonizing over whether or not I had made the right choice, wrought with guilt at the thought that I may have allowed peril to overcome you all. However, upon experiencing the New Years’ festivities at the shrine and understanding the wonder and joy that life can bring, I became resolute in my resolve. I wanted to ensure a future where the rest of our friends could continue to experience memories such as those. 

I wanted to spend many more New Years’ with you. 

At the end of the month, you decided that you wished to spend your final day prior to the Fall in my company. It did not take me by surprise, considering how close we had become in the past month especially, but I experienced a peculiar warmth within me at the thought that you chose me of all your friends to spend those last moments. I asked you why, and you told me that it was because I was special to you. 

We passed the hours in the park together, taking in the atmosphere of our hometown for what we believed would be the last time. I played with the puppies that belonged to the other inhabitants of the park, immersing myself in the miracle of life and the value of momentary connection. As the animals began to circle around my feet and entrapped me, I looked over at you helplessly. You were watching me, but that intensity in your eye was gone, and in its place I saw endearment, warmth, and joy. 

And for the first time, I saw your smile.

The following evening I once again faced Death, but this time I was not alone: you were by my side, along with all of our friends. I recall the despair I felt as you began to float away, as if succumbing to Nyx’s influence and accepting the inevitability of death. It scared me so dearly, for I thought that I had lost you. 

But moments later, you re-appeared, floating motionlessly before Nyx. It seemed that time stood still as you gazed down at me, witnessing my first tears as they streamed down my face and made impact with Tartarus’ checkered flooring. You could read the despair on my face. I believe you wanted to comfort me. 

And for the last time, I saw your smile.

The following month I saw you only in brief glimpses, taking in what little of your company I could immerse myself in without breaking the illusion that I did not remember you. As much pain as I was in being separated from all of my friends, and as much as I yearned for your company, I knew that your actions were taken with good reason. Still, from the shadows I looked out for you. I would always protect you, even if you did not know who I was. 

Then one morning you passed me by, and our eyes met. I saw that same warmth you had shown me during our last day together, that look of fond recognition. 

You had not left me.

* * *

Do you remember when you fell asleep in my lap, the day of our class’s graduation? You looked so peaceful. I thought that you may never wake up.


End file.
